Johnny & Jo vs. The Woodworm

What's a woodworm I hear you ask? Well, I could go into a scientific lecture about the history and evolution of them but to save you having to pretend to care all you really know is it's a REALLY FCUKING LOUD THING IN WOOD. Specifically, wood in our bedroom.

Johnny, being Johnny researched what these woodworms were (so I lied about me going into a lecture about them, it's really him) and sussed them out. This is the deal:
1. Certain beatles lay eggs in the wood

2. The wood gets chopped down and the untreated wood gets made into things that go into your house, in our case our skirting boards

3. An indeterminate of time later, the eggs hatch and the worms start eating the wood

4. In some cases they eat their way out - get enough and you'll get this

What does a wood worm sound like? Think a large, live animal with claws stuck in the walls trying to get out. Worst case scenario of course- which is what it sounded like when I first got here. That one either died or actually got out.

When the sound started again we called management who not surprisingly didn't give a damn, that is until Johnny bet the guy $100K ($5AU) that one was in there. Next thing you know a maintenance guy is here ripping it out. And when I say ripping, I mean in a "no holds barred I'd use sledgehammer if I had one" way. Once he does, the manager looks at it, and says "see no worms". He'd be right of course had the wood not had hundreds of holes in it. That's when they went outside to crack the wood, and what do you know, in the ONE random place they crack it a worm falls out.

Johnny didn't get $100K but it's worth the good nights sleep. Oh, and being right. In YO FACE management. And worm.

Eye Stye Cry, Maintenance Men & The Magic Park

I'm not quite sure what they were doing but I'm not quite sure of anything here

Patterns patterns patterns. Love the colour palette.

How can you beat pos like this?

I don't think they're really mother & daughter

Hello Kitty bike

Woop new cushions

I'm sure you can feel my excitement radiating over these pots. Johnny picked them out!

News so far:

:: This damn eye stye has ruled my life for the last week. Screw you Wikipedia- eyelash follicle hmph! Johnny convinced me to go the doctor and $125 later they told me it was because of bacteria in the eye. Ew.

:: Cooking dinner at the first time was an experience- crappy pots with rounded bottoms meant none sat right which meant they rattled and didn’t heat, everything needed to be washed in either filtered water or douched in boiling water, and our stupid electric stovetop makes no sense & only half works. Did I mention we also have no oven? *Sigh* Who said being a housewife was easy?

:: Living in our building meant I had THREE maintenance men and a cleaner come INTO our apartment and into our bedroom when I was in the shower (with the door open). I thought it was Johnny coming home early. IT WASN’T. I’m pretty laid back about most things but this scared the shit out of me.

:: Our gym needs a special mention- everything is brand new and it’s always mostly empty (it’s hideously expensive). The funny thing is that there are always mostly women, and they’re all doing weights too. I’m determined to make use of it and get super fit (and by fit I mean hot).

:: When I was living in HCMC I only got up early once and I was shocked to find massive amounts of people exercising and walking the streets. Considering it was still before dawn the scene resembled one from an all too real zombie movie.

Last week I couldn’t sleep and ended up waking Johnny up so we could walk around the lake near our house. I wasn’t quite sure what we'd see, but when I saw this, I couldn’t contain myself.

The entire lake looked like the morning after a big trashy music festival where no one had slept and things were getting special. Area after area of loud trance music with people dancing/ exercising, people doing weird things (i.e. frog leaping by themselves), everyone staring at us, it’s unexplainable.

It was the single most amazing thing I’ve seen in Vietnam. Ever.

So that's some of the news over here. Will post photos of our place soon.

Is it really that cold in Sydney now?

View From Our Apartment

These aren't the most glamorous shots but neither is this damn eye stye that's making my life awful at the moment. Apologies to everyone who's had to listen to me whinge about it already!

Anyhoo, back to the view. We're up on the 10th floor and we're one of those apartments who the two office towers look onto. Yep, I've always wondered what it was like to be one of them (I think specifically of the apartments next to the Ogilvy office in St Leonards) but I don't ever see people and so I hardly notice it. Though I did see some people lighting a fire this afternoon.

When I first got here there was fog every day and you could hardly see anything. Even though it's a million degrees each day now the sun has come out and life is much happier.

That last photo is from this evening after a storm- one of the most amazing sunsets I've seen.

What's going on in your world?

Thank God For Bun Cha

Across the street from our apartment is a little lane with food stalls.

This is the conversation between Johnny and the Vietnamese woman in the bun cha stall (in Vietnamese, ignoring me):

Where are you from? I'm from Australia

How old are you? 28

Is this your girlfriend? This is my girlfriend

*To everyone on the street* HE SAYS IT'S HIS GIRLFRIEND!!! *laughs*

Hello Bangkok

So gorgeous

Baby Maddie! Such a smiley gorgeous baby (though she's not smiling here....)

Pin the tail on the donkey gets intense

Compulsory pool time

All the girls in Bangkok are supercute

Muay Thai Kickboxing

This is the most rumbutans I've seen in my LIFE. You can imagine my excitement. $1 a kilo!

The boys making pancakes

How to get the kids onside

View from the Banyan Hotel's rooftop bar

Fat westerners

EAT ME. My new favourite restaurant ever.

Bow tie optional

If you could see me, you'd see the terror

Hey! that's us!

It was hot. Really awkwardly hot.

Wat Po

Size matters

Luck?

I’d only been in Hanoi for 4 days when Johnny and I were off to Bangkok.

The ride to the airport included seeing dead cooked dogs on the back of a bike. That’s all I’m going to say about that.

Loved Bangkok this time around as it was the first trip we had anytime to do anything!

Highlights included:
:: Hanging out with all the Herridge/Terricani’s and meeting Baby Maddie for the first time. We didn’t hear her cry once she smiled and laughed for us the whole time! We were there for Joshua’s 3rd birthday party which was crazy and seeing them in their dinosaur and surgeon outfits was beyond cuteness.

:: The kickboxing is something to be seen to be believed and I found myself getting into it. It was just like Saget from Streetfighter. The blood and the “crack” we heard at the end just before a guy was rushed off in a wheelchair brought us back to reality though.

:: Public transport. It was so efficient and clean I felt like I was going to burst. You always know exactly where you are, it tells you which side the doors are going to open, it’s air-conditioned like hell, trains come often, it’s fast, it’s cheap and the stations have clear information. German engineering you are my friend.

:: What could only be described as one of my most perfect nights ever. It started with drinks on the Vertigo rooftop bar on the 61st floor of the Banyan Tree Hotel watching the sunset and the city slowly light up.

Then we headed to Eat Me which is no doubt my favourite restaurant in the world now (I gave it proper thought too). The food, service, music, lighting & even bathrooms- all perfect. There’s even beautiful art on the walls. Dessert is worth a mention too: lemongrass infused soft crème brule and sticky date pudding with butterscotch sauce and vanilla ice-cream. Out of this world noms! It ended with a complimentary homemade shot of chocolate vodka- and when Johnny told them I didn’t drink (I was in the bathroom), they brought over a Mars Bar in a shotglass!

After we walked it all off in a red light district, and Johnny bought me the Thai Vivi magazine, we headed back and ended the night with a massage. Whoo- beat that for a perfect night.

:: Walking around a red light district was fascinating because you hear about it so much. It was awkward though. Walking down the bit where the gay bars was INTENSE. It was as if the worldwide gay community was in the smallest possible space and they had 30 seconds to party/get it on with anyone they wanted to before the world ended. Intense.

:: The next day we went to Wat Po to see the giant lying down Buddha. I’m glad we did, even if it was almost suffocatingly hot. Part of a trip there was by boat down up the river. It was a bit of a traumatising experience and the smell can only be described as if someone had eaten durian, then shit on you. Aimee told us how she got some water in her eye once and had to go to hospital once. I’d believe it!

:: Shopping. If I had more money, I would have spent it all. ALL I SAY. Mostly at Zara. I almost started hyperventilating in the Hello Kitty section of a department store too. It was this point I thought to myself for the 600th time the irony of my fear of cats. In the end I got some shorts from Zara with a lama-maybe-zebra print (I’m still pining over these pants but I didn’t try them on- I didn’t want to ruin the dream), and Hello Kitty shoes. Whoo!

More photos over at Jodeska.

How To Look Like A Tourist At The Airport

Warning: if you buy a conical hat to take home you will look like a douche.

(Note: yep, that IS Johnny with not one but two conical hats. For the kids of course. And for the record we double bagged them to hide our shame!)